okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
