Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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