you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
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