Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
