you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
