Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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