Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
