please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize