i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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