Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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