I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You pole danced in your parka.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
