All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
