I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
