Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
