I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
