My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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