Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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