It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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