I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.