Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog