i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.