Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
