we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
