I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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