right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
