Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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