I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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