The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I had to cum in my sink.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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