DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
