Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
