I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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