Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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