If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
