I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
