No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
