Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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