Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
