Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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