are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
