By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
