did you get engaged???
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So many bounce houses so little time
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize