she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
