I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
