My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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