Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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