She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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