How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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