Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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