Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
