I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
