Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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