i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
