When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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