If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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