Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Please, let me fuck your mom
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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