Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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