i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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