he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize