Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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