He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
