i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
